Essay Sample on Marriages: Why Do They Fail?

Posted on April 9, 2008

When it comes to marriage, the term means the union of two people who have mutual interests and, as a result, decide to spend their lives together. According to an old saying, a husband and a wife are the wheels of a vehicle. In case one of them faces problems, the other will likely suffer the same.

At the moment, two types of marriage exist in the world. The first one is about love, passion, and commitment. The other type of marriage is the union of two people that is being arranged. In western countries, the marriages based on love are preferred over the arranged marriages because they have open society norms. However, in the eastern countries, most of the marriages are being arranged by the parents of the boys and girls. It is important to mention that the nature and problems of the marriages vary from the type of society.

There are some societies, where people consider marriage a positive and lawful relationship between a wife and a husband, and it lasts for a long period of time. However, several problems exist in some of the countries in the west, where both a wife and a husband have to work and look after the children. There are usually rifts upon the family background of either side, financial matters, and other domestic problems, which cause divorce or separation legally from the life partner.

When it comes to the main reasons for marriage failure, they are usually related to the following issues:

  1. It is observed that as a rule, the couples fail to anticipate differences that come from diverse cultural backgrounds, different family experiences, gender, and so on.
  2. The couples fall into the concept of a “fifty-fifty” relationship, which means they honestly expect their spouses to meet them halfway on all aspects.
  3. Society has taught us that humankind is basically good. Therefore, the couples usually fail to anticipate and assess their self-centered natures that demand their own way.
  4. Married couples fail to cope with life’s trials or hard times. When painful trials come into the marriage, instead of standing together through them, the couples tend to blame each other or, in other words, think something is wrong with the spouse and the way they handle the pain. This, in turn, leads to their separation.
  5. Many people have got a fantasy view of love and life. They abruptly feel stuck with the person who does not appear to love the way they expect them to. As a result, they get deceived into the wrong belief that the next one will be better than the current.
  6. It is also observed at a large scale that many people lack a vital relationship with the region’s background. It could be that they have never come to a specific point in time, when they asked their deities into their lives and, as a result, he has no impact on the marriage relationship.
  7. The marriages are often forced. In such a condition, the circumstances lead to a divorce that is caused by a misunderstanding between two people. They are married because their parents told them to. They do not appear to be interested in their significant other.
  8. The women are very jealous when they see the other ladies hanging out with their men. For that reason, they do not want their love to be divided into two parts. This is another important reason why so many marriages tend to fail.
  9. The heavy drunkards often beat their wives and inflict punishment, which causes a serious reaction. All the circumstances lead two people to an inevitable separation.
  10. One of the most common causes of divorce lies in the lack of sex and intimacy. According to scientists, women have a lower libido than men. As a result, some serious issues appear in relationships, and two people decide to file for divorce. Without a doubt, there are situations when women tend to have a higher libido than their partners. Nevertheless, these cases are uncommon in most countries all over the world.
  11. There is another common reason why people get divorced. It is related to parents who fail to instill principles of marriage in their children. As a result, two adults are simply incapable of building a healthy relationship. What is more, they are merely programmed like read-only memories. That is, they are told what to do in different situations instead of being given the moral, economic, or health principles involved. As a result, the children form their own principles based on the statements received from their parents, which seldom are the principles that the parents wanted to instill.

Is it possible to escape marriage failures? Certainly, yes. Even though two people may find themselves in love, they will definitely find themselves in no-way-out situations – darkness without exit. However, the good news is that in order to sustain the successful marriages, you have to use the following points. The positive results will not be long in coming.

  • First of all, marriage should not be forced or conditional. This may cause initial displeasure that, in turn, leads to a divorce.
  • The like-mindedness is another asset needed to sustain a successful marriage.
  • Both arranged and love-based marriages may be considered as the most important relations between the couple, and they should be cooperative with each other and forgive the small rifts. If not, they will occur as big problems and lead to a divorce, as a result.
  • Finally, a husband and a wife have a sacred relationship, according to all religions of the world. For that reason, they must care for each other to avoid any sort of quarrels. The latter may seriously affect the life and nature of their children after their birth.
  • It is generally observed that divorce is the legal right of a couple to separate. However, some countries do not provide their citizens with easy options. Instead, people in those countries see a divorced woman as the one that has no value in society and deserves no respect. When it comes to the husband, he is free to marry any girl and live a happy life.

It’s no doubt that every marriage is a very sensitive issue. Its nature is highly delicate, which means both sides – a woman and a man – have to exert every effort in order to maintain a healthy relationship and make sure no damage is ever done to the relationship. In other words, it’s a job for two. Two people decide to spend their life together. They decide to live happily ever after with each other and, if possible, establish an example for the people who follow this relation. To become that kind of example, they must take care of each other, take into consideration the interests and desires of each other, pay attention to the smallest details. In other words, they have to properly understand the likes and dislikes of each other. Furthermore, in joint families, they should be given the freedom to interact with each other, as they need support to pass the long span of age till death do us part.

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