Paper stories: absurd recommendations that will make your day

Propriety is a virtue. Absurdity is a good laugh and many likes on social media.

Whatever happens on campus, the first thing we do is figure out how to react adequately. We have to act in a certain way to earn a teacher’s recognition or to win peers’ affection. And then, we easily get lost in thoughts that otherwise would sound comic to us. What to wear to an exam? How to congratulate a friend on his or her birthday party? Would it matter if the teacher has known you since primary school or if a friend were your best pal?

This time, we want you to take it easy and make fun of some ridiculous advice that will help you relax in expectation of an important event.

  1. Make a show out of your submission

    What do you know about submitting papers? Probably you used to lay the document quietly on top of other students’ work, making a pale shadow of a researcher of yourself. Forget about that if you want to stand out. Make a show out of your submission! Walk into the classroom when everyone, including your teacher, is already there. Make a dramatic entry by citing some lines from Shakespeare and swishing your paper like a sword. Friends, Romans, countrymen! As you reach your seat, cast the paper onto the teacher’s desk from there. You may not succeed with this challenging task from the first time, so do not get disappointed if you miss. Pick up your paper and cast it again!

  2. Spit all over your academic advisor to make your point

    Have you ever tried to prove your point of view to your teacher? You must do it with foam at your mouth! How else should your teacher know that you are striving for tantalizing academic heights? Every famous scholar reached great success because he or she was tremendously passionate about their field of study. They used to argue with fire in their eyes and laurels on their mind! Therefore, if your teacher does not agree with your point of view, keep on trying to persuade him or her—even if you need to spit all over his or her face. Prove yourself to be worthy of an academic degree!

  3. Try chewing gum to relax while presenting your dissertation

    Do you feel like you cannot breathe standing in front of a huge audience, ready to hear your speech? But of course you can! Use chewing gum to come to your senses and stay more confident. You can actually bring a range of gums to choose which one will help you best. In case you do not know what to say or if you are bored, start chewing. If peppermint is too ordinary for you, try fruit or berry taste to boost your spirits. Let everyone wait until you find the right gum and finish chewing it. In the meantime, your brain will recharge and you will be able to pull yourself together.

  4. Get rid of anxiety by having a good lunch in the library

    Have you ever combined two of the greatest universal pleasures: books and food? You should try reading while you are having lunch. It is perfect to have it all in the library! First, you do not waste your time by searching for a suitable lunch place—the library at your college is probably empty. Second, you spend more time with books, which your teacher keeps telling you to do. You should eat in a quiet cozy place not to disturb your digestion, and again, your college library looks perfect for that! Just choose a fascinating book and, bon appetit!

  5. Plan a party on the night before an exam

    You know this huge misconception that students learn the hardest on the night before an exam. Nonsense! You probably know that people are getting so nervous about their tests that they cannot remember a line the next morning. It’s time to make things right. Have a party on the night before the exam. Relax. Distract yourself from troubles. Enjoy your life on campus! Some alcohol is a guarantee of a good night’s sleep, which is essential before exams, and so is hanging out with peers. So, take the opportunity to have fun!

Before you start doing anything mentioned above…

… we are just kidding 🙂 So, you can imagine what the college life would look like without some general norms we all follow. Of course, chewing gum would make your academic advisor genuinely puzzled and a party before an exam could produce an extreme hangover. Not even mention that spitting on your teacher is utterly rude. Still, we hope this article has drawn a nice smile on your face that will help you accomplish your most ambitious plans!

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Published by
Lauren Bradshaw
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Lauren started writing in 2003. Since then, she tried her hand in SEO and website copywriting, composing for blogs, and working as an academic writer. Her main interests lie in content marketing, developing communication skills, and blogging.
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