To Have or Not to Have… a Second Baby

The first baby is always a motive of happiness. Even when it has not been carefully planned and it comes by surprise, its arrival is waited by the couple with enormous sentiment. There are no doubts, in most of the cases. In this state of anticipation, there is not thought about the money that will need to be invested from now on in this small person who shortly will become part of the family. The things you will have to renounce to in the near future may start to hit your mind: going out with friends, weekend away, romantic dinners in the light of the candles, or normal day-to-day things like going to the cinema or theater.
You are not yet aware of the time and money that will be needed to be inverted of for life, but especially during the first years. Right now, your only wish is that the wait is short, the small new being is in your arms as soon as possible and that finally you could see the sweet little face.

With the arrival of the newborn child, things change. There is a new routine and the parents are those who have to adapt to the changes, to become accustomed to sleep the few hours that the baby allows them, to listen to his/her inconsolable sobs wondering what the reason is, and to be twenty-four hours dependent on the little fellow. The maternity leave for women, or for men in the modern couples, allows a brief time to get accommodated to the routine and enjoy some time with the baby, without missing their daily jobs.

Nevertheless, very soon you start to realize how much is the real cost of having a baby. Some parents with permanent jobs and wealthy enough to economically afford it, take some extra time, even non-paid leave, to devote themselves to the baby. In another couples, one of the member stops working indefinitely or at least until the child has grown and goes to school.
Some other less lucky have to return to their jobs and here it is where the economical and intellectual difficulties begin for the parents. Though to feed him and to dress him does not make an excessive expense, until the child grows and wants expensive clothes, taking him to the child-care involves in many cases an economic sacrifice in addition to the stress that involves the feeling of missing some of the baby’s best moments at this crucial stage of their child which will be lost forever. By the time however, it is not such a sacrifice to have to give up doing things that you used to do before, since the fondness have already change for most of the newly released parents and now these renounces does not suppose a bravery.

Possibly the relation with friends also changes and they are starting to feel more comfortable with other couples with children. At this moment, some parents choose to have the children consecutively and finish with the nappies at once, take them at the same time to the child-care/school, and once this stage past, go back to work.

Nonetheless, once the first months or the first year is gone, and the new routine has been placed, the arrival of a second child takes time in some cases. Nowadays, the woman is so incorporated at work that in some cases she is the successful one of the couple. In these conditions, leaving temporarily a job for maternity leave is a thing, but leaving it for longer can implicate the risk of being relegated with regard to her male colleagues and involves a risk to achieve the professional success she wants. This is one of the big challenges of our time. While the woman has approached the working world and has harvested important successes, she still remains relegated to a second place at work, putting in risk her career if she decides to form a family.

With the things like this, maybe the best news for the couple is to run into a non-wished non-planned pregnancy that ultimately ended up being welcomed and avoiding the regrets and the headaches on having or not having the second child.

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